I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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