I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
