omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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