okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
