Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
God, I missed his penis.
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