I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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