the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize