dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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