totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
