were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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