I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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