So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize