Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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