LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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