Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
