dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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