omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
