Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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