hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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