well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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