Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
