what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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