And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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