dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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