Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
40s are totally the cure
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
