I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
