We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize