I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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