6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i just made my gag reflex go away.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
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