i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
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