Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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