I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
