Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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