does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
