Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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