VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
