video games are the ultimate cock blocker
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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