you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
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