You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Dicks are not precious.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
