bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
i drank out of a bidet.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
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