so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize