The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
