Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize