there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
