i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
