that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
