Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize
