it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
