Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
