I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I want her autograph on my taint
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
