we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
