Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
