omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
