biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
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