We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
pray to the hookup gods
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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