It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
