You can't motorboat a personality
She just used a chaser for red wine.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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