Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
