dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
