bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
