I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
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