Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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