It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
